This is how I feel….

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

A few months back my friend showed me a photo of her son with his schoolmate sweetheart.  Need I say more?  I knew I had to photograph them at some point and really wanted to get a shot that would fit with my Eclipse series. And I might have gotten one shot that could work, but I just couldn’t bare to keep these black and white.  The story just unfolded itself in an entirely different way.  These two had the kind of chemistry that can only play out to Doris Day covers and milky summer tones.  And so it is…

I really do scare myself sometimes…the way I can dive into situations that are absolutely foreign and for which I am probably absolutely unqualified.  Still, no matter how well I prepare…and this is strictly related to photography…I still end up creating better images when there are unexpected elements way beyond my control.  It’s like I shift gears and tap into that deeper sense of aesthetic that is part fight, part flight, and part accident.

Between now and next Sunday I have six…yes, count them 6 different shoots.  And I do still have a day-job.  One of those beautiful part-time jobs that keeps me happy and fed and where I’m kept in line and on point.  So first up is a quick test shoot for hair stylist Michael Haase who is concocting something fantastic that he wants my lens on.  The same day I am shooting my first nude session and as if that wasn’t challenging enough…there will be a 10 by 4 foot mirror involved in a rather small space.  How do I NOT get myself or this strobe or that reflector into the picture?  No idea…that’s where the scared part comes in.

On Sunday I am shooting two adorable children in continuation of my Eclipse series.  Without getting too much into my head let’s just say the series is about longing and an attempt on my part to handle white.  Apparently, white clothing/color is the easiest thing to blow out and the hardest to control texture and subtle nuance.  Having done the first of 10 shoots last week…I get it.  Not easy.  But oh, so worth it….

Then next week is a yet unconfirmed trip six hours up north to do some stills for a music video.  I’ll keep this one under the radar until I know for sure, but what I can disclose is my gittiness over Genart’s Fresh Faces in Fashion at Petersen Automotive Museum, which I get to cover on Thursday night.  Everything is a photograph as Steichen would say…everything indeed.

Wanna know something else?  I have a pending jury duty committment for next week….yup….got called in two weeks ago and there is still chance that they will tie me up when I show up in court on Monday.  This is NOT the time to panick, though.  I will still squeeze in a trip to the pumpkin patch with dear friends on Sunday night….oh, and I also embarked on a month of veganism…;)

Ain’t life grand.

Lest I forget…I COULD NOT do this without my boots.  The look that keeps me calm, cool and collected is perfectly embodied in this collection by twentysevennames…

…and I certainly couldn’t handle this week without Fever Ray…I set this album aside when it came out at the beginning of the year…it just didn’t have the resonnace…and this week it came back with a ROAR…

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]

Not much to say other than I’m finally getting around to playing with some gadgets that I’ve neglected, shied away from…literally had staring at me like scary monsters in the dark for weeeeeeks now.  I really have to get over my fear of strobes and remote activation of stuff and chords and batteries and gels, etc., etc…it can be quite lovely…

I’ve had knitting on my mind all day as the rainstorm took over our sunny corner of California.  The light is such a soothing shade of blue and gray…I worked on some headshots yesterday and we made it to the rooftop at a magical hour.  The sky was mesmerizing.

(The Rocket Builder by Johann Johannsson)

I’m looking for you in the woods tonight

Looking for you with my flashlight…

Show without showing

What you know without knowing…

Come to me as a child.

In the last couple of months I’ve come to a place where I can’t really look into the future or to plan any further than this week, this month maybe. I mean the idea of the future exists in my mind, but it’s so vague and unexciting as compared to this very moment that I simply don’t even care to go there.  In the same spirit I’ve started to be more assertive with some of the fantasies that drive my day to day life.  From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, not to mention the surreal world of the lucid and subconscious I walk around with stories.  Wherever I go, be it parties or casual gatherings, shopping, or the countless activities that fill our day to day life I am forever stepping in and out of two worlds. The real and the imagined.  To carry these stories can make one very disoriented, very quickly.  Before you know it the internal narrative overwhelms and disrupts your daily life.  And the people around you, even your dearest closest friends and family become confused, angry and quite frustrated.  Yes, I’m speaking from experience.

So the best part as I continue my foray into photography and get better with the technical know-how involved  is that I can finally explore and express these stories.  And it’s been such a relief, such a comfort to know that there is finally a medium that holds the tools and tricks that allow me to get these things out in the open.  To let them go.  To release them and move on….or just to move instead of pushing through laboriously as if surrounded by thick soupy bog.

And so here is a little concept I started last week involving a girl and a gun.  And yes, the gun is real.  The model’s friend is a police officer and I saw a photo she took with her phone posted on facebook a while back and got an immediate jolt of inspiration.   Of course the officer was with us to surpervise the shenanigans and became an essential photo shoot assistant.. diffusing the light, carrying the lighting, and giving us all a certain “edge”…Thank you!  The model is a beautiful friend of mine who was incredibly patient as I worked through these shots, making her run up and down the stairs over and over again.  We only managed to shoot two locations and I have three more to make this little piece complete. But it’s a good start and I’ll come back to in the second week of October, when the LA fashion week shoots wrap.

And don’t miss the new Massive Attack EP!

[There is a video that cannot be displayed in this feed. Visit the blog entry to see the video.]